PARENTAL
ADVISORY
EXTREMELY MODERN
PERIOD. 💀
recorded live at the stu · one last world tour

toomodern

the final mixtape · sept 10 – 13, 2025

side a SEPT 10
side b SEPT 11
side c SEPT 12
outro SEPT 13
the girls 10 OF US
℗ 2025 Too Modern Records · not featuring: jeff · from the stu to the i do
ooooh, modern
TRACK 01

five very different trips. period.

hover to see the full price breakdown. dude just look at cartagena.
℗ all prices are per person · accommodation + flights combined · 10 guests

DARK HORSE · omg wait ★ 🇨🇴
Cartagena
COLOMBIA · UNESCO WALLED CITY · TOO MODERN
a 400-year-old spanish colonial palace with two pools. cobblestones. candlelight. the most architectural, iconic, delusions-of-grandeur photos of your life.
all-in per person $1,161
villa $751 flights $410
architecture: ★★★★★ · miami nonstop 2.5h ✓ · best value architectural trip on the list · drugs: very accessible period
YOU'VE BEEN HERE · you know ✨ 🇲🇽
Hotel Esencia
RIVIERA MAYA · DUCHESS ESTATE · FORBES 5-STAR
an italian duchess's 50-acre private estate. la mansión villa: 3 pools, secret speakeasy through a jungle entrance, japanese omakase, peacocks. you've felt this. you know.
all-in per person $1,024
villa ~$700 flights $324
forbes 5-star · 5 consecutive years · nyc nonstop 3.5h ✓ · miami nonstop 1.5h ✓ · tulum 40 min · best magic-to-money ratio
FULL SEND · zero rules 🏖️ 🇲🇽
Cabo San Lucas
MEXICO · YOUR VILLA · YOUR BARTENDER
7BR, chef, bartender, maid. infinity pool. cabo town 15 min. your villa, your rules, your schedule. the most modern arrangement imaginable.
all-in per person $1,733
villa $1,364 flights $369
nyc nonstop 6.5h ✓ · ceci connects from miami ✗ · september = rainiest month ⚠ · nightlife: ★★★★★ · full freedom. period.
THE ORIGINAL PICK · shades down 🦩 🇧🇸
Harbour Island
BAHAMAS · DUNMORE TOWN · PINK SAND BEACH
the original pick. pink sand beach. british colonial architecture frozen in 1890. golf carts. world tour: closed. pure, rare, intimate, iconic beauty.
all-in per person $1,926
villa $1,552 flights $374
most beautiful · most expensive · architecture: ★★★★ · nightlife: ★ (babe it's the vibe) · chickpea special recommended
DELUSIONS OF GRANDEUR · four seasons territory 🇲🇽
Punta Mita
MEXICO · PACIFIC · FOUR SEASONS TERRITORY
where the four seasons and st. regis live. china blanca house, 4.95 stars, guest favorite. intimate pacific luxury. not spring break. just actually gorgeous.
all-in per person $1,170
villa $727 flights $443
miami nonstop 2.5h to PVR ✓ · architecture: ★★★ · nightlife: ★★ · intimate quiet luxury · no chaos. legit gorgeous.
BUDGET QUEEN · no passport needed 🇵🇷 🇵🇷
Puerto Rico
US TERRITORY · CONDADO / OLD SAN JUAN
the budget-conscious luxury pick. nonstop from literally everywhere. no passport. condado + old san juan nightlife when wanted. september = lowest fares of the year.
all-in per person $748
villa ~$550 flights $198
nyc nonstop 4h ✓ · miami nonstop 2.5h ✓ · no passport ✓ · september = cheapest month · nightlife: ★★★★ · period.
TRACK 02

the honest numbers. dude.

accommodation + flights · 9 from nyc, ceci from miami · best villa per destination · 3 nights
℗ too modern records does not endorse sticker shock

Accommodation
Flights (blended avg: 9 NYC + 1 Miami)
best value luxury
Hotel Esencia — $1,024pp
forbes 5-star · you've been · nonstop both cities
dark horse (dude wait)
Cartagena — $1,161pp
unesco walled city · colonial mansion · miami 2.5h
most iconic beach
Harbour Island — $1,926pp
most beautiful · most expensive · zero nightlife
budget pick · period
Puerto Rico — $748pp
no passport · nonstop everywhere · sept cheapest
TRACK 03

ok wait. find your trip.

answer honestly. the maze leads you all the way to the exact property and link. period.
no wrong answers. except maybe cabo in september. (kidding. maybe.)

world tour destination selector
RECORDED AT THE STU · TOO MODERN RECORDS
℗ 2025
SEPT 10–13
ok wait. close your eyes. what does this trip actually feel like?
be honest. no wrong answers. (well.)
ok real talk tho — september weather drama?
some destinations have more risk than others. be real.
does ceci's nonstop from miami actually matter to the group?
she's the bride. asking for a friend. (the friend is us.)
beach or cobblestones. go. no thinking.
one second. go.
world tour in effect — or world tour: closed?
nightlife when we want it, or pure escape and we're the entertainment?
your destination — too modern, period ★
🇨🇴
Cartagena, Colombia
UNESCO WALLED CITY · COLONIAL MANSION · THE MOST ARCHITECTURALLY ICONIC TRIP ON THIS LIST
miami nonstop 2.5h · september weather manageable · drugs: very accessible period
~$1,161 / person all-in · delusions of grandeur: activated
your property — the one
Luxury 7BD Colonial Mansion | 2 Pools in Walled City
7 bedrooms · cartagena walled city · new listing (verify before booking) · omg
$7,512
$751accommodation only
view on airbnb →
your destination — the original pick ★
🇧🇸
Harbour Island, Bahamas
PINK SAND BEACH · DUNMORE TOWN · WORLD TOUR: CLOSED EDITION
golf carts only · zero nightlife · 100% chickpea special approved · most intimate trip on the list
~$1,926 / person all-in · worth every dollar, dude
your property — iconic
Kings Surf Shack — New Retro Designer Bungalow
5 bedrooms · 8 beds · dunmore town · 5.0 ★ · 2-step travel: nassau + water taxi
$15,521
$1,552accommodation only
view on airbnb →
your destination — full send ★
🇲🇽
Cabo San Lucas, Mexico
7BR VILLA · YOUR BARTENDER · YOUR CHEF · YOUR POOL · YOUR RULES
nyc nonstop 6.5h · ceci connects from miami · sept = rainiest month ⚠ · nightlife: ★★★★★
~$1,733 / person all-in · full send. period.
your property — the villa
Lux Ocean View Villa | Dedicated Staff
7 bedrooms · 10 beds · cabo san lucas · 5.0 ★ · airbnb luxe · chef + bartender available
$13,635
$1,364accommodation only
view on airbnb →
your destination — you've felt this ★
🇲🇽
Hotel Esencia
RIVIERA MAYA · ITALIAN DUCHESS ESTATE · FORBES 5-STAR · 5 CONSECUTIVE YEARS
la mansión: 3 pools, secret jungle speakeasy, japanese omakase, tennis, rooftop, peacocks
tulum 40 min · nyc nonstop 3.5h · miami nonstop 1.5h · hotel handles everything. period.
~$1,024 / person all-in · best magic-to-money ratio on the list
your property — the duchess mansion
La Mansión Villa at Hotel Esencia
4 bedrooms · 3 private pools · rooftop · speakeasy · screening room · tennis · full hotel access · book direct
~$7k
~$700accommodation only
your destination — budget queen era ★
🇵🇷
Puerto Rico
US TERRITORY — NO PASSPORT · CONDADO + OLD SAN JUAN NIGHTLIFE
nyc nonstop 4h · miami nonstop 2.5h · sept = cheapest flights of the year · most affordable full trip
~$748 / person all-in · most modern value on the list
your property — search condado
Condado or Ocean Park, San Juan
strong 5–7BR market in condado / ocean park · search airbnb directly · no specific saved villa for PR
~$5,500/ 3 nights
~$550accommodation only
search airbnb →
TRACK 04

the listings. ooooh, modern.

all 18 saved properties · sep 10–13 available · prices for 3 nights · per person = 10 guests
℗ click any card to open on airbnb. period.

🇨🇴 Cartagena, Colombia
WALLED CITY · UNESCO · COLONIAL MANSION ENERGY
🇲🇽 Mexico
CABO SAN LUCAS · PUNTA MITA · HOTEL ESENCIA · TOO MODERN
🇩🇴 Dominican Republic
PUNTA CANA · CASA DE CAMPO
🇧🇸 Bahamas
HARBOUR ISLAND · EXUMA · WORLD TOUR TERRITORY
🎬 The Real Housewives Option
BERKSHIRES · HUDSON VALLEY · THE STU: UPSTATE EDITION · NO FLIGHTS FROM NYC
TRACK 05

the fine print. read it, dude.

everything you need to know before deciding. hurricane risk, seaweed, good times, ceci's flight.
℗ too modern records is not responsible for bad weather decisions

destination hurricane sep seaweed good times ceci's flight (MIA) nyc nonstop arch ★ nightlife all-in pp
Cartagena low–med occasional very easy nonstop 2.5h some nonstop
★★★★★
★★★★
$1,161
Hotel Esencia medium possible easy (tulum) nonstop 1.5h nonstop 3.5h
★★★★
★★★★★
$1,024
Punta Mita low none medium nonstop 2.5h some nonstop
★★★★★
★★★★★
$1,170
Cabo San Lucas HIGH ! none good connects. no nonstop. nonstop 6.5h
★★★★★
★★★★★
$1,733
Harbour Island low none strict laws nonstop 1h + taxi nonstop 3.5h + taxi
★★★★
★★★★
$1,926
Exuma low none strict laws nonstop 1.25h no nonstop
★★★★★
★★★★
$830
Puerto Rico medium low medium nonstop 2.5h nonstop 4h
★★★★★
★★★★
$748
Berkshires / Hudson Valley none none fine 2h flight 2h drive
★★★★
★★★★
~$600
green good / low risk
amber check / medium
red flag / avoid